Amidst the cold, blustery, ice and snow, stands the majestic 'Evergreen'. In the dead of winter, she hardly notices some of her needles have fallen. She is green the year around.
This winter has been particularly fierce with below freezing temperatures. There has been a great amount of ice, sleet and mounds of snow. Right after a snow storm, the landscape always looks so white and clean. There is something about softly falling snow that refreshes the air It's sweet smell permeates the air. Too cold for a walk outside, I just want to curl up and read a book for the day.
After one of our most recent snow storm, I did decide to go out for a walk. No cars were on the road and the sun was shining. It was rather warm. The silence was a touch of heaven. As I walked down the street I noticed several huge evergreen trees weighed down with snow and ice. The tree had survived harsh, below freezing weather.
This thought crossed my mind. What a great picture of a Christian's life. The Evergreen is forever green. The Christian has eternal life and is forever green. Trials and tribulations come into our lives, like the blustery winds of winter, often challenging the very foundations of our faith. Yet, the very life of our Lord in us keeps us 'forever' green, as we continue to mature and shed our needles.
I like to think that when our Heavenly Father looks down on His creation and sees the Evergreen, it reminds Him of His Bride that He is preparing for His son. She is alive, forever green, and healthy, amid the dead bare trees. Battered by trials and tribulations, amid the wintry storms of life, she stands strong and glorious. Resurrection life flows through her veins enabling Her to proclaim Her Bridegroom is alive, and coming again for Her soon.
Have you ever felt sorry for yourself and feel that no one understands or cares how you feel? I didn't that know these feelings were deep inside me. I soon found out that my emotions had a mind of their own. I could think one thing and feel another. My spirit was grieved. My prayers were hindered. What was going on?
Seeking for some answers, I took my grievances to a dear friend. While we were having coffee, we started to discuss growing up as kids. It didn't take long before I found myself complaining about my mother and her control over my life.
From there it started all down-hill. My husband was on the list. All I wanted was my friend to sympathize and to feel sorry for me, but she would not. She just patiently listened to my complaining until she couldn't stand it any more.
"Dottie, it hurts me to hear how you are discrediting God's character. You are full of self-pity.."
Discrediting God's character? Self pity? I didn't know what she was talking about. I was just expressing how I felt. It was the truth. I was getting a little angry inside, thinking that she was a little self righteous in her judgement. Wasn't there anyone who understood me?
The conversation wasn't fruitful. I politely excused myself, quietly I stuffed my feelings down again for another day. My friend said that she would continue to pray for me. I felt offended and a little embarrassed baring my heart so openly.
I was miserable. I couldn't pray. No one understood me not my husband, not my best friend, nobody. My children were still too young to understand. Yet, I couldn't escape the thought , "How was I discrediting God's character"
It kept plaguing me more and more, until one morning I cried out to the Lord, "Lord Jesus, nobody cares about me. Nobody listens or understands." By now, I was crying buckets. Maybe He didn't care either. Through my tears I heard a small voice say, "Read Ezekiel 16." I knew if God had anything to say to me it would be in His word. He often spoke personally that way.
This is how I interpreted Ezekiel 16 for myself. "On the day you were born, your parents were not believers, and your cord to the world was not cut. You were still dead in your trespasses and sin. Nobody pitied you . You pitied yourself. But, when I saw you squirming in your human sinful condition without hope, I alone had pity on you and in My compassion I picked you up, and said "live".
It was like a light bulb lit up in me. It was self pity. I was deceived, I was discrediting God's character, I was believing a lie. Yes, I was born in Adam's sin. I was full of self: self effort, self pity, selfishness, self, self, self. It was all about me.
Now, I understood how I was discrediting God's character. My complaining and self justification was accusing God. I was calling God a liar, that He didn't pity me. In reality, He was the only one that truly did. He nailed my sin to the cross and raised me to a new life in Him. What more did I need?
Since that day, my whole heart has changed. The deliverance has enabled me understand other areas of sin that I have needed to deal with. His kindness has led me continuously to repentance. Thus keeping my 'new heart" clean before my Holy God. There is no self-pity in Christ. Every day I am dying more and more to "self" and being transformed into the image and likeness of Jesus.
Right before I wake up in the morning, I often have the most incredible dreams. Some are life changing. Others are ridiculous and stupid. The ones I do remember are very clear and to the point. This one particular morning was memorable.
I found myself in this huge bedroom, standing in front of two closets. In my spirit, I heard a voice speak to me saying, "Open the door on your left". Slowly, I opened the door. It was dark and a horrendous smell like dead fish permeated the air. When I turned the closet light on, I recognized that it was full of my own clothes. Many were my favorite ones.
Again the voice spoke, "Open the door on your right?" Carefully, I opened the door. I was frightened as to what I might find. Instead of darkness, the closet was full of brilliant glorious light. It was filled with hundreds of pieces of new colorful garments. I didn't understand. Was the Lord going to give to me a whole new wardrobe? WOW! How great is that? Like most dreams, right at the best place, I woke up."
As I laid there thinking about it, I sensed that the Lord had something more for me. I fell back to sleep. It was then I started to see this vision.
"The Lord was standing between the two closet doors. Both of the doors were opened. Reaching inside my closet, He took handfulls of cloths off their hangers and threw them in a piggy pile on the floor.
"What are you doing, Lord, " I was getting upset. My closet was completely emptied and clothes piled in a heap. It was a mess. He shut the closet door, and printed across the door "Kingdom of Self".
As I started to pick up my clothes from the floor, every article of clothing had something written on it: selfishness, self-confidence, self righteousness, self pity, resentment, self justification, self protection, unforgiveness, fear, doubt, unbelief, anger, impatience, pride, lust, coveting, jealousy, religious, bitterness, independence, etc. I had no idea my closet was so full of dirty clothes. But what was I going to wear? I must have something good to wear?
The Lord discerned my thought, "My daughter, there was nothing in your closet acceptable for My Kingdom. Even all your 'good' clothes are filthy to Me."
"Lord, "I said, " I don't understand? I am naked!"
"You are right, my daughter. Your old clothes are dirty and ugly. They will be exchanged for Mine. Now, start picking up your old clothes one at a time and hand them to Me. I will dress you for My Kingdom in garments of righteousness, peace and joy, love forgiveness, kindness, mercy, gentleness, dependence, long-suffering, humility and much more."
"But Lord, my closet smells so bad! I can't put these new clothes in that closet." I explained.
"It has been completely cleansed, trust Me."
As I sat on the floor amid my old clothes, I contemplated, "Do I have to hand over all of them at once? It wasn't going to be that easy. Maybe He thought I should wash them more often."
My thoughts were quickly interrupted, "Enough, My daughter." He lovingly spoke, yet with a firm voice, "I have been patient. You must repent. You can not wear your 'old' clothes in My Kingdom."
Then my eyes were opened. I saw Calvary's cross. Jesus was wearing all my 'old' clothes.
Now, I could understood why Jesus said in Mathew 9:17. "You can't put new wine into an old wine skin." "You must be born again." John 3:3
Other scripture verses that came to mind were Colossians 3:9,10,"'Put off the OLD self with its practices and put on the NEW self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator'. Romans 8:9-10, Romans 12:2., I Cor. 5:16-18.
Several year ago, I had a bible study in my home. It was a very special group of ladies that I held dear to my heart. One evening, I received a phone call from one of the ladies.
"Dottie, I need help." Her trembling voice cried out", holding back tears. "Will you come and pray with me? I can't go on like this."
"Jean, is this you?" I asked. She said it was. We agreed to meet at a near-by restaurant for prayer in half an hour.
After settling my family for the evening, I left for the restaurant. Jean was already there and had reserved a booth. We ordered coffee, and as we started to talk, I could see that she was extremely upset, not the cool, laid back Jean, I knew in class.
"What is going on Jean? Tell me about it.? How can I pray for you?" I asked.
"Can we talk in your car? I think it will be more private." She responded. It all seemed a little strange to me. But, why not?
We left a tip, and headed for my car. At first, Jean was very quiet. She didn't know where to begin. I encouraged her to 'just begin".
"Do you know what parapsychology is?" she confidentially asked. Her whole countenance changed. I told her that I had some idea.
"Isn't it something like telepathy, clairvoyance, channeling,etc.? It is totally forbidden by the Lord in Deuteronomy 18. I think it is consider an occult spirit," I responded.
She continued to explain more to me. What a lie, a deception from the pit of hell. I have never felt so helpless. It is one thing to teach the Word and quite another to apply it.
By now, Jean was getting very anxious. "You've got to help me! Ever since I became a Christian, my mind has been in torment. I don't know what to do! Since this morning in class, when we were discussing how Jesus came to set the captive free by the authority of His Name, my mind has been so confused. I cannot rid myself of the thoughts of parapsychology. I want to be set free." Jean was desperate.
My mind flooded with craziness. Thoughts came from every direction. "Who do you think you are? Your prayer don't get answered! It was a contest between my flesh and spirit. Who was I going to listen to?"
Finally, I had to ask myself, " Did I believe what I taught or didn't I?" By the grace of God, FAITH rose in my heart. The presence of the Holy Spirit presence was so strong. My sister Jean was miserable and needed Jesus, now. He was her only hope. Through prayer, I could become an instrument of His grace for her deliverance.
"Jean", I asked, "Are you sure you do not want parapsychology any more?" She assured me, she did not, and was ready to renounce its control in her mind. She also confessed her agreement with it as sin, repented of it and received God's forgiveness. I thought everything was going great. I didn't expect what happened next.
I started to pray, "Lord Jesus, I thank you for the power of the cross and the cleansing power of your blood. In the Name of Jesus, I take authority over the spirit of parapsychology and all of its influence in Jean's mind. You have no right to oppress her any more. She is a child of the living God and belongs to Jesus Christ. You must bow and leave her now."
Within seconds, Jean fainted and collapsed in the front seat. The presence of the Lord was so strong. I continued to take authority in the Name of Jesus over the spirit of parapsychology, fear and torment. I commanded it to leave this child of God. I looked over at her. She was still unconscious. I knew this battle was the Lord's. I waited some more. Just as I was getting really concerned, Jean woke up, lifted her head and said, "Wow, what happened? I feel terrific. All of the heavy fear and torment of the parapsychology has left. It's gone." Jean was thrilled. We both hugged and rejoiced in the glorious power of the cross.
I explained to her that Jesus had delivered her from a deeply rooted occult spirit, called parapsychology. Now,it was important that she return home, throw out very book and anything else related to it. She was free to renew her mind with the Word of God.
Jean grew in grace like a weed. She devoured the Word and never missed church or bible study. Over the years, I have lost contact with my dear sister. We moved out of the area, but our hearts will always remain one in Christ. That night in the restaurant parking lot, Jean and I meet the power of the living God. Together, we can confess, "Greater is He who is in us, than he who is in the world." Amen
