Thursday, October 25, 2012
His LOVE is Real
I have a personal story that I would like to share with you. A few years ago, my mother and father came to live with us. My father was promoted to heaven before my mother. I was left with the care of my mother in her latter years. As time went on, I became to realize that I really didn't love my mother. I became very critical and resentful of my role. I tried to play the dutiful daughter, and thought that I was doing a great job, but what I didn't know was that the Lord knew my heart.
I had some childhood issues that I wanted to discuss with my mother, but I knew that if I did it really would hurt her, so I stuffed all my feelings and put on a smile As a believer I was supposed to love and honor my mother, but I didn't. I didn't know what to do. I confessed and confessed my sin. I cried and cried, I read my bible, I prayed with a friend, I told my husband and we prayed, nothing worked. My heart was still bitter and resentful. This went on for months. I tried to cover it up and to serve her as a loving daughter. It was very hard. I thought that if I forgave her, God would cover it all up and she would never know how she hurt me.
All my efforts to love her kept failing, until one day, when I cried out to the Lord in my self-pity, He interrupted and said, "My daughter, be honest, you don't love your mother, but I do. She's mine." I was stopped dead in my tracks. "Lord, " I responded, "I have to confess you are right Lord, I confess that I don't love my mother but you do. You created her, you died for her, you gave her to be a mother for me. Lord, forgive me. I am so stuck!" It was then that this beautiful revelation came to me, "My daughter, why are you not drawing on the Holy Spirit's love for your mother?" Like a flash I knew what He was saying to me (Romans 5:5). The Holy Spirit was all I needed to love and to forgive my mother.
WOW, what an emotional healing I received. I was trying in my own strength to love, because I was supposed to. Now, by faith I had the love of God shed abroad in my heart to reach out and love my mother, and it changed everything. My relationship with my mother grew very sweet and before she died, she told me many times how much she loved me.
His kindness brought me to repentance and my dear mother went home to the Lord without ever knowing my sin of resentment or bitterness. The Lord had removed it from my heart and replaced it with His love for her. I experienced the POWER of God's love, released through me, and I will never forget it. It was a miracle. As I grow more and more to know the Lord ,He is continuing to change me from glory to glory into His image.