Tuesday, August 23, 2016

A desert place

Why was I so angry at God?  I loved the Lord.. He died for my sin.  I have been in the faith for forty-five year seeking to know Him and His ways. Why should I be angry?  I received the Holy Spirit and the gift of prayer (tongues) to pursue a deeper relationship with Him. It didn't make any sense. I certainly didn't want anyone to know, especially the Lord. Christians don't get mad at God.

This condition led to a spiritually dry desert place with no rain in sight. I prayed and prayed, but the clouds were empty.  My bible reading was dull, no life. I started to murmur and complain.  'Lord where are you?  I am crying out to You?  Why don't you answer?  Why are you hiding?  The body of Christ is so full of apathy and I am mad. Don't you care"

For weeks it had been a struggle to reach His heart and to hear His voice. It wasn't like Him.  I confessed my murmuring and complaining hoping to find a release, but nothing.  Prayer was hard, but I pressed in hoping to break through.   I thought to myself, "The Lord is testing me."  Will I persevere in prayer through a a dry time? That has to be it. I have been there before, but why am I so angry?

 I finally got a breakthrough when the Lord said to me, "My child why are you so angry at Me.?

"Lord, I am not angry with You.  I am angry at Your church.  Remember the five virgins asleep with no oil in their lamps. Why don't you do something?

"My child, whose Bride is it?  Why is it your concern. Am I not building my church, My way?"

"Yes, Lord,"

The scriptures were brought to my mind,. Numbers 20: 8-13  There was no water.  Moses was so angry with the people's  murmuring and complaining.  The Lord told him to speak to the rock, but instead of speaking he  struck the rock twice.   His disobedience forfeited his entering the promised land..

I got it. Once again the Holy Spirit brought to light the voice of the Lord through scripture.  I heard it loud and clear. The Rock was Jesus.  He has told me to speak to him concerning His body, not to strike it with my anger. My heart was grieved. I thought I was so justified.  I repented of my anger and confessed my sin to the Lord. Again my pride had revealed.  How many times has He told me that my pride steals His glory. Truly, in my flesh dwells no good thing.  I am so grateful for the Lord's forgiveness and especially the Holy Spirit's conviction that leads me to repentance.

I am very grateful that I am not Moses. Moses wasn't able to go into the promised land.   Jesus is my promised land. I am in Him and He is in me.  By faith my anger is on calvary. Jesus is the Rock that was struck at calvary for me.  Now I am to only speak to Him, obey Him and not get angry. I am no longer in the dry , desert place.  I have been restored until the next time.  On to  glory.

Monday, July 11, 2016


                                 SIX LITTLE STORIES

 I would like to share six little stories with you today. They are short and easy to remember.

1.  Once all the people in a village decided to pray for rain. On the day of prayer all the people gathered, but only one boy came with an umbrella  "THAT'S FAITH."

2.  When you throw babies in the air, they laugh because they know you will catch them.  THAT'S  TRUST"

3.  Overnight we go to bed without any assurance of being alive  the next morning, but we still set the alarms to wake up.  "THAT'S HOPE"

4.  We plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future.  "THAT'S CONFIDENCE "

5.  We see the world suffering, but still we get married and have children.  "THAT'S LOVE"

6.  On an old man's shirt was written a sentence "I am not 81 years old"  I am sweet 16 with 65 years of experience.  THAT'S ATTITUDE."

Monday, June 20, 2016


The stars glistened in the night sky, like polished diamonds on a black velvet cloth.  The ocean waves sparkled in the brilliance of the full moon. The once crowded beach was empty, except for the evening walkers. A young couple walked romantically along the beach as the waves washed over their feet. They could not resist the playful gesture of splashing each other, and running away.  They were in love. Their friendship was growing. But, this night was different. Their lives would forever be changed.

As the full moon grew brighter and settled over their heads, the louder ocean waves echoed through the night.   It was a night designed just for them.  The young man suggested that they sit for awhile and just listen to the ocean.  If only time could stand still.  The young lady cuddled beside her beau.  It would be the greatest moment in their courtship.  

Reaching in his pocket. the young man  pulled out a little gold leather box, opened it and said "I have waited five years for you. I have always loved you since the day I set my eyes on you. You are the most beautiful and compassionate women in the world. I am in love with you. I want to love,  care and protect you for the rest of  your life. Will you marry me?" With tears in her eyes, she shyly responded, "I will".  Together they embraced and sealed this new commitment with a kiss.  The moon winked an eye. Lovingly, he slipped the ring onto the her small finger, held her hand and looked into her eyes. His smile filled his whole face.  This was the only girl he ever loved and she had said yes.

But this isn't the end of the story.  The months ahead were not easy for the new bride-to-be.  She had a ring on her finger, the wedding date was set, but was she emotionally ready to be true only to him?  Her heart fought thoughts she never knew were there.  "If I marry him, it will be a commitment for the rest of my life.  Will I be faithful?  Is my love for him enough?  What if I find an interest in another man? What if I change my mind after ten years of marriage? Marriage is a serious commitment. 

She was only twenty years old.  She loved her ring. It was a gorgeous half carat diamond in a tiffany setting. She could hardly wait to show her family and friends. She was engaged to be married.  She wanted to shout it from he roof top.  But was she ready to be married?  Did she really understand commitment?

This little love story reminds me of when the Holy Spirit revealed to me the love of of Jesus  He loved me so much that He stretched out His arms and died. The cross was like an engagement ring.  Jesus was my bridegroom and I was part of  His bride. He loved me more than I loved Him. Yet, Jesus was willing to take all my sin on Himself in His death, and burial. And in His resurrection He would give me a newness of life. The Holy Spirit would prepare me for the rest of my life through His word for the wedding day.

It wasn't long before I was convicted that I was a "fickle bride".
I had two lovers: Jesus and the world.  My heart was not surrendered to Him alone.  He was in covenant with me, committed to love, to provide and to protect me from the evil one in this world, but I still loved the world. 

It was a serious time in my walk with Jesus.  I didn't realize how independent I was. I wanted the Lord to bless my way. It was at that this time I realized I had never truly repented and turned to Jesus alone. 

The young girl in the story, she loved the idea of having an engagement ring on her finger, but never counted the cost. Likewise, I loved the thought of Jesus dying for my sins, but never truly counted the cost of dying to the world, my flesh and the devil.  

There is no room in the Kingdom of God for a fickle spirit or an  
 independent one. I am still learning the importance of daily repentance no matter what sin it might be. For every sin I repent of, the Lord replaces it it with more of Himself. By the grace of God, I am growing to depend on Him alone.  He is the faithful one and will never forsake His bride. I am so grateful that the Lord is not fickle. He is a faithful bridegroom.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016


I happened to tune in on this discussion with Rabbi Cahn, the author of the Harbinger .  I thought you might be interested.  We don't know the future, but we know who holds the future. Without repentance, there will be no lasting revival.  I believe the Lord is reaching out to His people, now, to repent and be ready for an outpouring of Holy Spirit in an unprecedented way.  Our God is holy, righteous and good.  He is patience and long suffering not desiring for any to perish.  God's judgment is upon us, but by the grace of God, He is staying His hand and showing us great mercy that we don't deserve.

Please listen, pray and repent for yourself.  And remember, we can stand in the gap for those who do not yet know the Lord. Be blessed today my brothers and sisters.