You have to be an alien from another planet never to have experienced rejection. It hurts. It's painful--a human emotion. Your soul feels unwanted, alone, abandoned.
It is often emotionally experienced through an offense, divorce, unanswered prayer, friends, husband, wife, children, teacher, the body of Christ. Yes, even your dog and Cat are in the mix!
When I was seven years old, Louise was my only playmate , until Julie moved in across the street. My world quickly changed. Now, I was often the third wheel.
One morning, I packed up my dolls -- wheeled my doll carriage over to Louise's house. But, she wasn't there. Her mother told me that she was playing with Julie She was sure I would be wanted. Encouraged to go, I left to find them.
I knocked on Julie's door. Her mother answered. "Good morning, my dear, " she said cheerfully. "Are you looking for the girls?
Sheepishly, I said "Yes, are they here?"
She responded "I am so sorry, I haven't seen the girls today."
Needing to use the bathroom, I went inside. There behind the open door sat Louise and Julie eating raisins--giggling with their hands over their mouths. They were there. Julie's mother lied. Neither one wanted to play with me. The mother encouraged me to go home.
Pushing my doll carriage as fast as I could, I cried all the way home--too afraid to tell my mother. I thought I had done something wrong. My heart was dreadfully hurt.
I ran to my bedroom, closed the door, tears streaming down my face. Fortunately, my mother wasn't in the house. She was out picking apples with my father in the orchard.
I never told my mother. I was too embarrassed. Rejection had pierced my heart like an arrow. It's deadly venom laid dormant in my soul for years. Deeply wounded and fearful of being rejected again, I protected myself by becoming a people pleaser.
For years, fear of rejection continued to wrap itself around my soul like an ugly snake. It wasn't until I started to understand the gospel and its implications. The power of God's forgiveness began to heal my soul.
I was in a bible study learning about the Fall of man in the Garden of Eden. The teacher explained to me that in the beginning man was perfect-- totally acceptable. Adam's disobedience grievously caused God to expel the couple from the Garden. Man was rejected-- fellowship with God broken. He became detached from the loving heart of the his Heavenly Father.
Until, one day on Calvary's Hill, the blood sacrifice of God's Son, delivered man from the original imputation of sin. The emotional pain and suffering, caused by God's rejection, Jesus endured on His body for my healing. His death, burial and resurrection overcame the consequences of Adam's sin in me.
Acquainted with grief and sorrow my Lord was the only one who could to reach into my heart and heal a deep wound.
I had a new identity. I was born again, restored, and accepted in Jesus, (Ephesians 1:6.) But, one question still remained.
After thirty years, why did I still tear-up just thinking about "the girls eating raisins behind the door?" Compared to other believer's who had suffered more than I, my wound felt ridiculous.
Honestly, I had tried and tried to forgive the girls--nothing. The pain, the tears, were still there. Then one day, I had this thought, "Dorothy, you don't have a clue how much you have offended God. All sin is against God. Only God forgives sin."
That was my answer. ONLY GOD FORGIVES SIN. I had been striving in my flesh to forgive Louise and Julie with HUMAN (my) forgiveness. It was empty.
I knew I was forgiven of Adam's sin, but,truthfully I had not received by FAITH God's forgiveness for my own sin. It made all the difference in the world.
Now, I was able to extend GOD"S forgiveness to my two friends .I chose to believe that they did not know how much I was offended or they never would have rejected me.
Forgiving the girls was easier than Julie's mother. She was an adult. Adults shouldn't lie to children. Again, the Holy Spirit took me to the cross--forgive as I have forgiven you. Once again, extending God's forgiveness felt good.
A miracle happened. For years now, I have been able to share this story and not tear up. The Lord has healed my heart. No more hurt. No more pain. Jesus loves me. His acceptance crushed the need to be a people pleaser. My only desire, now is to please my Lord, and to forgive others as I have been forgiven.