Have you ever wrestled with God wanting Him to bless your plans? You wonder why He hasn't moved or helped you to accomplish your great idea? You think it is His will. You have prayed and prayed and asked the Lord to help you achieve this good thing, but deep down in your heart you know that something is wrong.
When all of my children were married, I began to wonder what I was going to do with my life. I started praying and asked the Lord what He wanted me to do? In my heart, I knew that He was drawing me closer and closer to Himself. He wanted me to take this time to study His word and to intercede, but I choose to listen to another voice.
My best friend and I were empty-nesters. We were sister's in the Lord and enjoyed our friendship together. She had a great idea. She believed that the Lord was calling us to start a retail company making bible book covers to sell at craft fairs. Her vision sounded quite exciting and something that the Lord would surely bless. She even saw young mother's sewing for us making money so that they could stay at home. All the profit would go to feed the poor in the area. Doesn't that sound like a Godly vision? Only one problem, it wasn't God's will for me, but for her. I struggled for five years praying and seeking God's peace. It never came. It was just a good idea.
After struggling for God's peace for five years, I finally had to confess I was not in God's will but in my own. My dear friend was very gracious. She completely understood my anxiety and released me. She continued to be blessed, feeding the poor.
Looking back I honestly have to admit, I was the stumbling block to our success. I tried and tried to have a peace with the decision. It was fruitless. My motives were all wrong. I wanted to prove my ability as a entrepreneur with God's help. The problem was, God had not called me to be an entrepreneur. It was my idea and I wanted Him to bless it. It was a painful revelation. But it became a serious turning point in my relationship with the Lord.
Since then I am learning more and more about the will of God for my life. Recently in prayer the Lord reminded me again, "Why do you insist on your will and ask Me to bless it? Don't you believe that My will is really the best for you?
To hear God's voice and to know His heart has become far more important to me than anything I could do for Him. All He needs of me is my availability to be used as He so wills. It is a joy to be part of His body and to wait upon Him for His will to be done of earth as it is in Heaven.
"Man makes his plans, but God orders His steps." Proverb 16:9
"The steps of a good man are ordered by God" psalm 37:23