Saturday, October 1, 2011

My testimony

October 4, 2011

 Blogging, what a wonderful way to communicate your heart to others.  I am really looking forward to the days and months ahead to make many new friends who will read this blog and take the time to agree or
disagree.  Your opinions and comments are important to me. Someone once said, "opinions are like noses.  We all have a different one."  That is so true and your opinions are important to me, because I have much to learn from you too.

I would like to tell  you a little about myself. I am a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the most important
person in my life.  I love Him with all my heart. That is why I named my blog,"Dottie In Him", The Lord found  and brought me to Himself in 1970.  I have been "in Him" now for over forty years and growing more and more in love with Him everyday.

In 1970, I found myself in the deep depression. I was married to the most faithful, kind and loving husband for 12 years.  We had three healthy daughters and beautiful home on three areas of land.  Why should I  ever be depressed?   I was married at nineteen, Roger was twenty-two. Our honeymoon consisted  of a mad dash across the country in order to meet Rogers' ship in San Diego California. Our marriage was off to a to a very happy start. Our first home was in Naval housing. By the end of the third month,  I was pregnant with our first daughter. We were more than delighted, but it was a surprise.  Roger left for Hawaii on a six months cruise. I was able to join him a month later and stayed until I flew home to have our baby.

I was not believer when I was married. I was drawn to Christianity and thought I was  Christian. For the first twelve years of our marriage I played the part.I went to church every Sunday with our family. I said grace at meals time and tried very hard to be a good person. We prayed on occasions, but deep down in my heart I knew that something was missing.  I was looking for meaning in life.

To help fill this void, I tried to go back to college to finish my degree.I stuck it out for a year and a half. It wasn't the answer. It only was creating more tension in the family.  It was hard to be a mother, wife and a student at the same time.  Then I thought,, perhaps I should try the YMCA.  I was a trained swimming instructor, that would enable me to teach swimming and coach a swimming team. It fit our family well for a numbers of years. The girls were able to come with me and join the swimming team. But this too did not fill the void in my heart. I was living the American dream and becoming more and more depressed. How does this happen?  My husband did not know what to do and neither did I. I had never felt like this before. Perhaps I needed some medicine or maybe it was a chemical imbalance.

At the height of my depression I was so angry at my life.  It certainly wasn't what I expected.  Is this all there is? Marriage wasn't fulfilling, children weren't fulfilling, college wasn't fulfilling, and church certainly wasn't fulfilling.  What was the meaning of life?  I wanted to know.  Who am I, Why am I here, I was completely into myself and becoming very desperate for some answers.

 Finally one summer evening in 1970, I went alone out into my backyard, looked up at the stars and said " I am tired of saying. thank you to a God  I don't know.  If you are real, I want to know you  If this is all there is, then I don't want anything to do with  Christianity."  I walked by into the house and went to bed. I was an angry woman in my heart. My life was falling apart and there was no one to help me. Roger did the best he could to make me happy, but I needed someone or something that could reach deeply into my being. my spirit. I was empty.  I was Spiritually dead.

Now,  before I share how God answered my desperate call for help, I want to remind you that I wanted to know God.   I knew that God was three persons one God.  The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.. I also knew that Jesus died on a cross for the sins of the world and I was taught that everyone died and went to Heaven. Hell was for Satan and His angels.

I think I am going to stop here for my first post because what I am going to share is amazing and I don't want you to miss the wonder and miracle how God answered my prayer.  It still is amazing to me.  I know God exists and that Jesus is alive living His life in me. That may sound presumptuous, but it is not It is true for anyone who will believe that Jesus died for their sins.  I WILL TELL YOU MORE LATER.

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