You have to be an alien from another planet never to have experienced rejection. It hurts. It's painful--a human emotion. Your soul feels unwanted, alone, abandoned.
It is often emotionally experienced through an offense, divorce, unanswered prayer, friends, husband, wife, children, teacher, the body of Christ. Yes, even your dog and Cat are in the mix!
When I was seven years old, Louise was my only playmate , until Julie moved in across the street. My world quickly changed. Now, I was often the third wheel.
One morning, I packed up my dolls -- wheeled my doll carriage over to Louise's house. But, she wasn't there. Her mother told me that she was playing with Julie She was sure I would be wanted. Encouraged to go, I left to find them.
I knocked on Julie's door. Her mother answered. "Good morning, my dear, " she said cheerfully. "Are you looking for the girls?
Sheepishly, I said "Yes, are they here?"
She responded "I am so sorry, I haven't seen the girls today."
Needing to use the bathroom, I went inside. There behind the open door sat Louise and Julie eating raisins--giggling with their hands over their mouths. They were there. Julie's mother lied. Neither one wanted to play with me. The mother encouraged me to go home.
Pushing my doll carriage as fast as I could, I cried all the way home--too afraid to tell my mother. I thought I had done something wrong. My heart was dreadfully hurt.
I ran to my bedroom, closed the door, tears streaming down my face. Fortunately, my mother wasn't in the house. She was out picking apples with my father in the orchard.
I never told my mother. I was too embarrassed. Rejection had pierced my heart like an arrow. It's deadly venom laid dormant in my soul for years. Deeply wounded and fearful of being rejected again, I protected myself by becoming a people pleaser.
For years, fear of rejection continued to wrap itself around my soul like an ugly snake. It wasn't until I started to understand the gospel and its implications. The power of God's forgiveness began to heal my soul.
I was in a bible study learning about the Fall of man in the Garden of Eden. The teacher explained to me that in the beginning man was perfect-- totally acceptable. Adam's disobedience grievously caused God to expel the couple from the Garden. Man was rejected-- fellowship with God broken. He became detached from the loving heart of the his Heavenly Father.
Until, one day on Calvary's Hill, the blood sacrifice of God's Son, delivered man from the original imputation of sin. The emotional pain and suffering, caused by God's rejection, Jesus endured on His body for my healing. His death, burial and resurrection overcame the consequences of Adam's sin in me.
Acquainted with grief and sorrow my Lord was the only one who could to reach into my heart and heal a deep wound.
I had a new identity. I was born again, restored, and accepted in Jesus, (Ephesians 1:6.) But, one question still remained.
After thirty years, why did I still tear-up just thinking about "the girls eating raisins behind the door?" Compared to other believer's who had suffered more than I, my wound felt ridiculous.
Honestly, I had tried and tried to forgive the girls--nothing. The pain, the tears, were still there. Then one day, I had this thought, "Dorothy, you don't have a clue how much you have offended God. All sin is against God. Only God forgives sin."
That was my answer. ONLY GOD FORGIVES SIN. I had been striving in my flesh to forgive Louise and Julie with HUMAN (my) forgiveness. It was empty.
I knew I was forgiven of Adam's sin, but,truthfully I had not received by FAITH God's forgiveness for my own sin. It made all the difference in the world.
Now, I was able to extend GOD"S forgiveness to my two friends .I chose to believe that they did not know how much I was offended or they never would have rejected me.
Forgiving the girls was easier than Julie's mother. She was an adult. Adults shouldn't lie to children. Again, the Holy Spirit took me to the cross--forgive as I have forgiven you. Once again, extending God's forgiveness felt good.
A miracle happened. For years now, I have been able to share this story and not tear up. The Lord has healed my heart. No more hurt. No more pain. Jesus loves me. His acceptance crushed the need to be a people pleaser. My only desire, now is to please my Lord, and to forgive others as I have been forgiven.
"Be still and know that I am God, I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in all the earth!" Psalm 46:10
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Thursday, January 16, 2014
A DIFFERENT TWIST
This interview I found very thought provoking. No one knows the day or the hour that Christ will come, nor who the antichrist really.will be. There are many speculations. View this video, and let the Lord discern it for you. It is something to ponder from a middle East perspective. If you have a problem receiving the video, please go directly to the blog: dottieinhim.blogspot.com. It should come up.
Friday, January 3, 2014
ARE YOU HANGING IN THERE?
How often have you used the expression, "I am hanging-in- there"
I know I have used it many times, when a friend was honestly inquiring. To me, it seemed like an easy answer. Life was too complicated at the moment, and I didn't want to talk. Why couldn't I just be honest and say something like "It's rough. I am not doing well. I would appreciate your prayers. Thank you for asking. The Lord is good. He will see me through"
I began to think about this expression and what actually I was conveying. I have to confess, it made me sad. One morning in prayer, I asked the Lord, why do I always seem to use this expression? To my surprise, He answered me with this thought, "My daughter, that expression is an insult to me." WHAT?? How could it be insulting to the Lord saying "I am hanging- in- there." I pursued Him some more, "Lord, what do you mean 'I'm insulting you.?" His answer was humbling. "My daughter, it is just another way of saying, 'you are not giving up. You are strong enough to deal with the circumstances yourself. You are questioning my love and care for you. Am I not enough? Self-pity is sitting on your shoulder and stealing your joy in Me."
God was right. He always is, you know. I have dealt with self-pity many times in my Christian walk. This was just in another form. I have now come to realize that the only pity I need, I have already received--God's pity. He saw me in my sin and had pity on me. He came and died, was buried and raised again to give me His life. I have nothing to feel sorry about. Jesus is alive and more than enough to answer any unresolved situation that I might find myself in. I don't have to "hang-in-there" any more. If you ever hear me expressing this again, please remind me, 'JESUS HUNG FOR YOU. Enjoy your salvation."
I know I have used it many times, when a friend was honestly inquiring. To me, it seemed like an easy answer. Life was too complicated at the moment, and I didn't want to talk. Why couldn't I just be honest and say something like "It's rough. I am not doing well. I would appreciate your prayers. Thank you for asking. The Lord is good. He will see me through"
I began to think about this expression and what actually I was conveying. I have to confess, it made me sad. One morning in prayer, I asked the Lord, why do I always seem to use this expression? To my surprise, He answered me with this thought, "My daughter, that expression is an insult to me." WHAT?? How could it be insulting to the Lord saying "I am hanging- in- there." I pursued Him some more, "Lord, what do you mean 'I'm insulting you.?" His answer was humbling. "My daughter, it is just another way of saying, 'you are not giving up. You are strong enough to deal with the circumstances yourself. You are questioning my love and care for you. Am I not enough? Self-pity is sitting on your shoulder and stealing your joy in Me."
God was right. He always is, you know. I have dealt with self-pity many times in my Christian walk. This was just in another form. I have now come to realize that the only pity I need, I have already received--God's pity. He saw me in my sin and had pity on me. He came and died, was buried and raised again to give me His life. I have nothing to feel sorry about. Jesus is alive and more than enough to answer any unresolved situation that I might find myself in. I don't have to "hang-in-there" any more. If you ever hear me expressing this again, please remind me, 'JESUS HUNG FOR YOU. Enjoy your salvation."
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